Depression
by Jemlela
Summary: Neal is fed up with his anklet and has slowly being slipping into a depression. What happens when he collapses. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.
1. Collapsed

_**This is my first try at White Collar. **_

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><p>Neal got out of bed after another sleepless night. He look down at his tracker with disgust. This might be better than prison, but not by much and he is sinking deeper and deeper into depression. He wants freedom; he wants to go to the art gallerys outside his 2 mile radius. He is tired of everything within his radius.<p>

He walked out onto the terrace. His breakfast and coffee were already there waiting for him. Lately it has been his only meal. He works through lunches and doesn't even bother with dinner. Neal took one more look at his breakfast and decided that he doesn't want it.

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><p>Peter walked into the Bureau and saw that Neal was already there.<p>

"Neal, can I see you in my office." He asked as he walked by.

Neal got up and followed Peter. As he was climbing the stairs he passed out and fell the rest of the way down.

"Neal!" Peter shouted.

Neal didn't respond as he was still unconscious. Jones called for an ambulance. Peter leaned down next to Neal, begging him to wake up. All he could do was wait and watch as the paramedics took Neal away. He wanted to go with him, he even tried to bully his way into the bus. But they wouldn't let him come along. They had said it would be easier for them to work on Neal if there wasn't anyone in their way.

Peter, Jones and Diana followed the bus to the hospital. While Jones drove, Peter called El and June. June promised to get a hold of Mozzie. They would all be there to show their support to Neal.

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><p>Peter paced the waiting room waiting for word on Neal. June and El just sat there watching Peter pace. Those doctors were taking their bittersweet time on letting them know how Neal is doing. Every second that passed seemed like a lifetime. Finally the doctor came out.<p>

"How is Neal?" Peter asked.

"He is still out. There is no telling when he will wake up. He is suffering from dehydration, exhaustion, starvation. We have him on IV that will take care of his dehydration and starvation. As for the exhaustion, it is up to him. I'm sure once he gotten plenty of rest, he will wake up. If any of you know how things got this bad; then maybe you can keep it from happening again." The doctor told them and left to get back to his patient.

How did he get this bad? All week, he is being working through lunches; but why. When did he stop laughing and smiling? Why didn't anyone notice? Had they noticed; could this have been prevented?

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><p><em><strong>I wrote this trying to imagine how I would if I was Neal's position. I really don't think I could handle it.<strong>_

_**Please Please Review they make me so happy and encourage me to update sooner. When I decide which story to update next, I base it on how many reviews the story is getting.**_


	2. Therapy

Several days passed and Neal still didn't wake up. The doctors were getting really concerned. Peter, El, June and Mozzie all took turns sitting with Neal hoping and praying that he will decide to wake up. But so far no change.

"Doctor, it has been 4 days; when will he wake up?" June asked.

"I really don't know. It is all up to him now. All we can do is wait." The doctor answered as he checked Neal's vitals.

Neal finally open his eyes to see that all his friends are there in the room with him. They weren't paying that much attention to him.

"What is everyone doing here?"

The voice startled everyone as they weren't suspecting it.

"Neal!" El exclaimed. "You are awake."

"How long was I out?"

"Almost a week. Are you okay?" Peter responded.

Neal moved his leg and he knew the tracker was still on. He is lying in a hospital and they still can't remove the tracker.

"I'm fine." He answered despondent.

"Are you hungry? I can get the nurse to bring you something to eat. It will probably be soup, but at least it will be something?" June offered.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry."

"Neal when is the last time you actually ate? When you were admitted, you were dehydrated and suffering the effects of starvation. Why are you not eating?" Peter probed.

"I'm just not hungry. Is that a crime all of sudden?" Neal yelled.

The doctor and nurses rushed into the room. "Mr. Caffery, you need to calm down."

Neal wasn't calming down; he was fighting the help everyone was offering him.

"I need you guys to leave. You can visit him later." The nurse told everyone.

No one really wanted to leave, but Neal woke up upset and it seems that they aren't helping him any.

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><p>Neal lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. The doctors won't release him, because he is fighting them on eating. He ignored the knock on his opened door.<p>

"Mr. Caffery, I am Melinda Johnson. I work as a psychiatrist. Your doctor asked me to speak with you." The woman said as she entered the room and closed the door.

"Why?" Neal asked, not even looking at her.

"You appear to be depressed. In fact your doctor thinks that it is your depression that landed you in here in the first place."

"I'm fine."

"No, Mr. Caffery you're not. They won't release you until I give them the word and that is not going to happen until after I get to the root of your depression."

Neal looked up at Melinda. "Why do you even care?"

"Well you are a person aren't you and you are in trouble."

"I'm not a person. I am a con, or didn't they tell you that part."

"Mr. Caffery, whatever you have done; you are still a person and yes they told me you were a white collar con man and that hate violence and will never be a part of something that involves it. So why don't you tell me what been bothering you so much that you are not eating."

Neal pull back his blanket to reveal his tracker. "This is my problem. I am not in prison, but I am in a different kind of prison. Sort of stuck in limbo; I'm not locked up, but I am not exactly free. This tracker I have to wear 24/7 reminds me of that."

"Did this just start up, or have you always felt this way?" Melinda asked.

"I was arrested and sentenced to serve 4 years in maximum security for bond forgery. My girlfriend showed up one day and broke up with me. So even though my sentencing was almost up, I broke out of prison to find her and got caught again. I was sentenced to another 4 years in prison. I cut a deal with the FBI. I will use my knowledge to help them catch white collar criminals. As a part of getting them to agree to the deal, offered the tracker. But that was then and now I can't stand it. Some days I wish they would just send me back to prison; at least than I would be out of limbo. I don't really want to go back, but I can't keep living like this. This isn't living; I don't even know what this is." Neal explained.

"When did this feeling start?"

"It had been happening slowly. 2 weeks ago there was an art gallery opening I so desperately wanted to see. Unfortunately for me, the gallery was 2.3 miles from my apartment. .3 miles outside my radius, so I couldn't go."

"Did you ask for a small extension or to have someone go with you?" Melinda asked.

"What is the point, they would have said no to both. So the night of the gallery I went the 2 miles and just watched my dreams just beyond my reach. I stood there, for I don't know how long and then went back to my apartment. I don't know what I want anymore, but I do know this. I can't go on like this anymore. No one can help me with that, not even you."

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><p><em><strong>Please Please Review they make me so happy and encourage me to update sooner. When I decide which story to update next, I base it on how many reviews the story is getting.<strong>_


	3. A Solution

Melinda walked out if Neal's room so he can rest and to decide what is the best way to help him. She knows the best way to help him; however he is a con and the FBI might not agree to her idea. Even if it is what's best for her patient.

Melinda walked out to the waiting room. Neal's friends were there. She hopes that they really are his friends and will put his welfare above anything else.

"Agent Burke, I am Melinda Johnson. I am Mr. Caffery psychiatrist. I need to talk to you about Neal's welfare and wellbeing." She started.

"I'm listening." He responded.

Mozzie, El, June and even Jones and Diane gather round to hear what the psychiatrist has to say.

"You have 2 options. If you don't agree to the first option then you should send him back to prison. Sending him back won't improve his health any but it is better than the alternative." Melinda began.

"I don't understand. You are being cryptic. What are you talking about?" Peter asked.

Melinda knew she better just say it. "The only way to improve Neal's health is to remove his tracker."

Everyone gasped.

"Before you say no Agent Burke, hear me out. The tracker is at the center of his depression. It keeps him from eating, from sleeping. His health will continue to deteriorate if he has to continue to wear the tracker." Melinga began and paused before continuing

"Do you know that 2 weeks ago there was an art gallery opening that he wanted to go to? It was 2.3 miles from his apartment, .3 miles outside his radius and he couldn't go. All it did was remind him that he is stuck in limbo, somewhere between prison and freedom. It is chipping away at his soul and leaving behind an empty being." Melinda explained.

"I do hear you Ms. Johnson. I just don't know what I can do. I don't have the authority to remove his tracker and I surly don't want to send him back to prison. He is my friend." Peter spoke up.

"Give him a curfew, say 10pm; but no radius restricting his movements. Every night, he has to call and check in that he is home. If he wants to stay out later than 10 he has to have it approved and has to work for it."

Peter gave it some serious thought. If Melinda had just jumped right into that, he wouldn't even have given it a second thought. But she started with how bad Neal's health is and how it will only get worse if something isn't done. He looked to Jones and Diana to see what they think about it. Jones just shrugged and Diana gave no response. He is going to have to talk to Hughes and see if there is anything they can do.

"I'll have to talk to Hughes."

"If it helps to convince this Hughes, If Neal had been released from prison on parole; he _**wouldn't**_ be wearing a tracker and he would have a curfew." Melinda urged.

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><p>Peter walk down to his CI's room and saw that he was just staring off to space. Neal didn't even respond as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Peter set his hand on Neal's knee. That got a response out of Neal. He at least looked at him before turning his head to stare at the wall.<p>

"You hungry?"

Neal ignored him for several minutes before shaking his head.

"I have an errand to run, I'll be back to check on you later." Peter told him.

"Don't bother." Neal replied in a monotone voice.

Peter left the room and ran into Neal's doctor.

"How is he doing?" Peter asked almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Not well. He won't eat on his own, so we hooked him up to an IV. I had asked the hospital's psychiatrist to speak with him; I'm not sure how it went. But there has been no change in Mr. Caffery's attitude. Whatever the root of this problem may just end up killing him." The doctor answered heading into Neal's room to check his vitals before setting him up on his first IV day.

Peter watched Neal with his doctor from the doorway. Neal just laid there. Peter waited for the doctor to come out.

"I need a copy of Neal's medical record of the condition he is in." Peter requested.

Once Peter had Neal's medical records as a result of the depression, he went to Melinda to get a written copy of her professional views on Neal's mental health and her recommendation of a way to stop the depression.

Peter arrived at the Federal building with everything he needed and headed up to talk to Hughes.

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><p><em><strong>.<strong>_

So Should Hughes agree to release Neal from his tracker?

_**Please Please Review they make me so happy and encourage me to update sooner. When I decide which story to update next, I base it on how many reviews the story is getting.**_

_**AN: I don't know anything about parole. Just what I get from movie. In Double Jeporady, they had a curfew. In ShawshanK Redemption when Brooks and Red was paroled they didn't wear a tracker**_


	4. Decision

Peter arrives at the Bureau. He doesn't even know how to talk to Hughes about Neal. But he has to try. Neal is dying. Peter doesn't want to lose his best friend. Back when he was chasing Neal, he never thought he would like the guy; but he does. The idea of sitting back and watching Neal slowly die isn't an option.

Peter runs into Hughes on his way up to his office.

"How is Caffery doing?" He asks.

Peter took a deep breath; it is now or never. "That is what I am actually here to talk to you about."

"Let's go to my office." Hughes suggested.

Peter nodded and followed him.

"So what is going on?" Hughes asked.

"Neal is deeply depressed and his depression is killing him. His psychiatrist has some ideas that might help him, if you agree. If not, than you might as well send him back to prison to die." Peter began.

"That is pretty bleak, don't you think?" Hughes asked confused.

"No, not really. The situation is bleak. Neal is so deeply depressed; that he isn't eating, he isn't sleeping. He just lies there and slowly wastes away."

"Okay, what does Caffery's psychiatrist think will help him?"

"Melinda Johnson is Neal psychiatrist. She thinks that the center of Neal's depression is his tracker. As long as he has to continue to wear it, he will never come out of his depression." Peter answered.

"The tracker was part of the deal that got him released from prison. I can't change that, I'm sorry." Hughes apologized.

"Melinda thinks there is other ways than a tracking anklet. A curfew for starters. His landlady and I can make sure he sticks to it. He can continue to be a CI, we need him. He knows thing about art and white collar crimes, we can't even begin to understand. Our closure rate is at its highest point and that is because of Neal; no one else. When I got kidnapped and was in that cage; it was Neal who could talk me out. We all need him and he isn't as bad as some of the criminals he has helped us capture. Please at least consider it; it may be the only way to save his life." Peter explained and walked away to go back to the hospital.

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><p>Mozzie, June, El, Diana and Jones met Peter in the waiting room.<p>

"So what did Hughes say?" Diana asked.

"I don't know. I explained the situation and begged him to consider removing the anklet. But I didn't bother to stick around waiting for his answer. How is Neal?" Peter answered.

"There has been no change in his condition. The doctors are really getting worried. They say it might already be too late to save him." El answer worried.

Peter walks away from the group to sit with Neal. It hurts to watch Neal giving up on life.

"Come on Neal; you have to snap out of this. I know that you are hurting and that you hate your tracker; but don't let it defeat you." Peter begged.

Neal didn't bother to turn and look at him; he just stared at the ceiling.

Every minute that passed seemed like a lifetime to Peter. Neal won't fight; he really doesn't care if he lives or dies.

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><p>Hughes sat in his office considering everything Peter had told him. He went over the files that Neal helped out on. Their conviction rate before Neal was an 83% and after Neat became a CI; the conviction rate jumped to a 95%. Peter is right; they need Neal. But Neal's release was based on him wearing a tracker.<p>

Hughes decided he needs to see Neal for himself. To see if Peter is right about Neal's health or if they are just blowing thing out of proportion.

Hughes arrives at Neal's hospital room. He sees Peter sitting by Neal's bed. Peter turned to see him. Neal didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Hello Neal."

Neal didn't say anything and continues to stare at the ceiling. A nurse came in to change out Neal's IV. Neal didn't say anything or even try to flirt. Hughes realizes that things must really be bad if Neal won't even attempt to flirt with an attractive nurse. Hughes turned around and walked out of the room. Peter followed him out.

"How is he doing?" Hughes asks.

"He is wasting away. They are keeping him on an IV 24/7. It is like he is just lying there waiting to die. Have you made a decision about his tracker?" Peter responds.

Hughes walks away. Peter wonders what it could mean for Neal.

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><p>Nighttime came. All of Neal's visitors left except for Peter. Peter just couldn't leave his side. He was afraid that if he left tonight; that Neal would be dead by morning. Hughes came back to see Neal and Peter.<p>

"Has there been any change?" Hughes asks.

Peter leads Hughes outside the room before answering.

"No; the doctors don't think he has much time left. He has to snap out of his depression; even then it may be too late to save his life."

"I have made my decision. We are removing his tracker under a few conditions. 1) He has to stay with you and El, at least for a few months. 2) If he goes out at night, he has to be in by 9. Only you can give him permission to stay out later, in that case he has to be back by a time that you decide; and only if he is off the next day. 3) He will continue to be a CI; that is once he has recovered from his depression."

Peter listened, it all seems reasonable. He wanted Neal to stay with him for awhile anyway; so that he could keep an eye on him. "That is fine."

"We may set up a few more rules as we see how things go. But he will know the rules ahead of time, so it is not going to be a surprise. If Neal breaks any of the rules; he will either have the tracker put back on or we will send him back to prison." Hughes finished.

"I will personally make sure he doesn't break any of the conditions." Peter guaranteed.

"Okay, why don't you do the honors. I have already spoken to the Marshalls so they know that the tracker will no longer be in use."

Peter walks back into the room with a big grin as he goes to remove the tracker. Now he just hopes that Neal will come out of his depression once he realizes that the tracker is off and that it is in time to save his life.


	5. Road to Recovery

Peter continues to watch his best friend as he sleeps. No that is wrong, Neal is more than his best friend; he is more like a little brother.

"Listen to me and you had better listen good. We removed your tracker; so you need to snap out of it. June, Mozzie and El need you to get better._ I_ need you to get better. You have to snap out of this; I won't accept anything less from you." Peter begs.

Neal doesn't open his eyes. He continues to act as if he hadn't heard.

"Neal, I know you can hear me. Look at me." Peter demands.

Neal finally looks at him.

"Good. Feel anything different?" Peter asks.

Neal doesn't answer; whatever it is that is different; he doesn't care. He is past caring about anything.

"I removed your tracker." Peter started.

"For how long; till I am out of here, till I go back to prison." Neal responds, his voice still monotone.

"As long as you follow the rules we set for you; for the rest of your sentence. You were released on a work release program; but Hughes changed it to parole. Like any parole it can be reversed; but as long as you do what you are supposed to do and stay away from unauthorized cons their shouldn't be a problem." Peter explains

"What rules?"

"Once your deemed well enough to leave here; you will stay with El and I. If not out with either one of us; you are back at my place by 9. If on occasion, you want to stay out later; we can discuss it. And you will continue to be my CI. Does this sound okay to you?"

"You do not need to change up your life on account of me."

"Neal; we want too. El is already getting the room ready for you; she can't wait for you to come. Besides it is not permanent; just for the next few months. June and Mozzie is bringing over the necessities so that you will have them. They also promise to join us for dinner at least once a week until you go home."

Neal stares at Peter taking in everything he said; but reality sets in. There is always a catch and nobody really gives something for nothing; at least not where he is concerned. He met Mozzie after he conned a conner on a street corner. Mozzie had only wanted him to execute a huge con on Vincent Addler. A con that left him with nothing; but a girlfriend, who had broken up with him when he needed her the most. She was the only reason he had survived being locked up; he looked forward to every visit and hated to see her go. She also wanted something in return; she believed he had the music box and she wanted it. The FBI uses his skills and knowledge to close their crimes. How many times has life been put in danger to close a case.

"So what is my radius now; your house and that is it."

"No radius at all. You want to go to the art galleries after work; go as long as you're home by nine or whatever time I decide that day. You want to stay out until 10 or 11 and we don't work the next day; then you ask me and most likely I will say yes. As long as you are not making a habit out of it."

"Peter, this isn't necessary."

"Neal, I think it is. This past week, seeing you so depressed was killing me too. I was so afraid to leave you; afraid that when I come back, you wouldn't be here."

"Where would I go?"

Peter looks at his friend and shakes his head.

"Neal, you were wasting away with this depression. The doctors weren't sure that they could save your life. That this depression may just end up killing you. Please get better and come home." Peter begs.

"When will I get to go back to work?"

"Your psychiatrist, Melinda Johnson will decide when you can go back. When your health starts improving, you can come home with me." Peter answers.

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><p>3 days pass<p>

Neal is eating some; but mostly he picks at his food. He smiles some; but mostly he is still down.

Melinda sees Peter comes for his visit with Neal. June was there earlier; she left when Melinda started their therapy session.

"How is Neal?" Peter asks.

"We just finished his therapy session and I have decided that he can leave."

"Now? He doesn't seem to be getting better." Peter asks in confusion.

"I know it doesn't look like it; but he is getting better. Depression doesn't cure itself over night. It is a slow and tedious process. But he is getting better. However, he will have good days and bad days." Melinda explains as she leaves to talk to Neal's doctor about releasing him.

Peter walks into Neal's room. He is sitting on his bed staring at his hands.

"Melinda told me you can go home today."

Neal shrugs. Peter can't believe that this is being considers at getting better. El will go a long way in helping Neal.

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><p>Peter drives carefully home with Neal sitting beside him. Neal is looking out the window. Peter had tried to get Neal to talk to him, but he won't respond. The hospital releases him on a bad day; what is wrong with this picture.<p> 


End file.
